You're PDeffingP ;]
Im 17, living in San Diego and im probably the strangest and most awkward person you'll ever come across in your life.

About me


If I ever let you wear my hoodie, then you must be pretty fucking important to me.

I want it back.


the worst fucking thing you can do is make someone sincerely believe that you love them with all your heart and not fucking mean it. just fucking punch them in the gut a few times, same feeling with less talk. 

Im serious. Put all my stuff in a box and give it back tomorrow. You looked really stupid today. Why do you always try to hide things when your friends eventually tell me everything. Theres even pictures on facebook and instagram! What a waste of 6 months.


gotta love this photo of the Degrassi boys from season 2!! 

We’re done. I dont want to try anymore. Go have fun with whatever girl and guy you want. Whatever. Its not like you fucking care.

All I wanted was to receive the love I gave.
- 10 word story (via cubs)

(Source: white--elephants)

Why do you get jealous when I call someone pretty or cute? Im not your girlfriend. We’re just friends right? We’re nothing else.

I kinda wish I had girl friends. Im waking one of my best guy friends up to go look at prom dresses and bikinis with me. lol.

Delete her number.

Stop ringing her. Stop messaging her. Stop making excuses to see her, to drop by her place.

Erase her name from memory. Remove yourself from her life, more completely than you would like but as completely as she deserves. Move on, so that you can allow her to also move on. When you close your eyes, you don’t get to see her face. Not anymore. You don’t get to think about her lips, the warm glow of her skin when she rests next to you, or how she squeezes your hand in her sleep. You are not allowed to remember the smell of her perfume, that she only drinks mint tea (with two dollops of honey), or that she loves you.

She loves you.

She has been in love with you for too long.

So, forget how she says your name. Forget how she calls your name. Forget how she screams your name. Forget that time you got sick and she stayed up with you all night, letting you lay your head in her lap and holding a cold compress to your forehead. Forget how her hair feels in your fingers. Forget how she looks in your sweatshirts.

Forget her.

Know only that she existed at one point in your life, but relinquish all hope that she could exist at another point — sometime in the future that you are unwilling to specify because you don’t know what you want. Yet. It is not fair for you to swoop in and out of her life as you choose. It is not fair for you to say that you are satisfied with “things as they are” and you will have time to “figure it out” later. Let her stop investing emotionally in you. Let her pour that love and care into the people who deserve her.

Don’t tell her that you think about her all the time. Don’t tell her that it bothers you to hear about her with other people, but that you’re willing to understand as long as she likes you more than them. Don’t tell her that this isn’t the right moment but that there will be a right moment. There is not going to be a right moment. She shouldn’t have to wait for the right moment.

Don’t tell her that you can’t handle ultimatums, that you don’t like the idea of finally adding finality to your relationship — whatever still remains of it.

What you are telling her is that you want to keep her on as an option, that you are taking her for granted, that you want to know she will be there, that you can depend on her at the end of the day. When you find that no one else has stuck around or that those who have are less interesting, less thoughtful, or less doggedly loyal to you.

Doggedly loyal to you.

That is what she has been to you, for you almost as long as you have known her: a constant emotional crutch, the guarantee of stability, a safety net while you reachvout to grasp objects that sparkle and shine far greater than she does. All that glitters is not gold, haven’t you heard?

She is fire. You are ice, and you are afraid that her slow burn will smolder your cool, hard demeanor. That’s what has driven your decisions, your actions all along: fear. You are a coward. You are a hypocrite. You are terrified to let her go, but you are afraid she is too good for you, that she could drive you wild, that you would choke on her flames. That she is too much for you to handle right now.

Right now.

But if you choose not to love her now, you can’t choose to love her later.
- (via acidxcult)

(Source: laurenhooper)

Im not wasting my time on you anymore. You obviously dont know what you want.

I hate your reputation and I hate what you do every time youre drunk.


The memories I have will pull me through and I will love the CTFxC always. I’m going to miss the old type of vlogs but new ones are coming it’s scary but it may be a good thing. Charles and Alli deserve to be happy no matter what! No sides will be taken in my part and none should be taken by my fellow CTFxCers.
My heart is broken and I haven’t stopped crying. I can only imagine how Charles and Alli are feeling. They need our support love and prayers right now. Sometimes people can’t handle the stress that comes with cancer and tumor’s it is known to tear relationships apart. It’s a lot of stress especially on a young couple. Charles and Alli will always be the ideal couple in my eyes. They gave me hope that I can find love like that one day. I just kinda wished they tried a bit harder maybe counseling but then again they might have we don’t know what happens when the camera is off.
I wish nothing but happiness for them both. I will miss them together and the vlogs won’t be the same. My signed poster of Charles, Alli, Zoey and Marley still hangs in my room and I will look at it with fond memories, happiness, sadness and hope.
We are the CTFxC we can handle anything even when it feels like our world and theirs have been torn apart.